It’s strange how your childhood sort of feels like forever. Then suddenly you’re sixteen and the world becomes an hourglass and you’re watching the sand pile up at the wrong end. And you’re thinking of how when you were just a kid, your heartbeat was like a kick drum at a rock show, and now it’s just a time bomb ticking out. And it’s sad. And you want to forget about dying. But mostly you just want to forget about saying goodbye.
I’ve changed. We all change. We all grow up, grow wiser, grow distant from the things we never thought we would. We all learn to laugh a little more and cry a little more and be a little more silly. We all slowly start to forget the people we once cared so much for, start to let the memories fade, and the faces blur. I have changed, and I will always be changing. For the better or worse, is a matter of perception. But don’t tell me I’ve changed like it isn’t inevitable
Some day’s i like to imagine i am someone else. Like my sister’s or anyone i look up to. Some days i want to live someone else’s life. When i was little i tried everything to be like my older sister Kate. I remember after she had a shower i would have one and make sure i smelled the same as her. Both of my sister’s had a big part of my life it’s funny how to this day i will always believe that they both have a better life then mine where did mine go wrong? why do i have to be the odd one out
Everyday i wake up and believe i am the black sheep of the family the little runt that needs a bit more help with the start of life. Some days i have to push myself that just little bit because I’m scared that if i never did that i wouldn’t be here! Who is saying that i need to be. Who says my life is any more important. Why can’t i be that one to be able to bring happiness to my family why can’t i show them that i am a different person. That i am not happy. Life has never been easy for me yet i still push on
Yet i have so much to be thankful for. One day we all won’t be breathing this air. One day nobody will remember us. I want to do amazing things with my life yet each day i struggle to get there i struggle a lot. I am not the smartest person. The brightest. or important. But the only thing keeping me going is that one day i will look back on my hard days and be proud. One day i am going to be proud that i got through the hard parts. One day i am going to make it