Public holidays irritate me. Please don’t hate me. If I was in the business of working Mondays I suppose I would be pro public holiday but for now they are a pain in the backside.

Monday is my shopping day. Throw a public holiday Monday into the mix and all of a sudden my regular table at my regular coffee shop is taken and the line at Coles snakes into the bakery. I don’t like standing next to the freshly baked biscuits. I always end up buying a pack.

One public holiday I do adore though is Melbourne Cup Day, but only Victorians get the chance to take the first Tuesday in October off. Not fair. Give the whole of Australia the day off. Lets get rid of the Queens Birthday countrywide and replace it with Melbourne Cup Day.

Why do we celebrate an English monarchs birthday on a day that isn’t even her birthday anyway? She certainly doesn’t need the presents. Barack Obama gave her an iPod recently. I’m pretty sure if the Queen wanted an iPod she would have one already.

Back on the Melbourne Cup and unlike the Queens Birthday every Australian deserves the right to take the day off, stimulate the economy through the TAB and cram into a pub and stay there until Deal or No Deal comes on TV. When you start yelling at the greedy granny for choosing briefcase number four it’s time to go home though.

Now I can hear the outcry from Victoria from here: “But we’ll loose a public holiday.” Now don’t feel bad. Victorians are creative enough bunch to come up with something to replace the Queens Birthday. They could look interstate; South Australia has Proclamation day, WA Foundation Day and the Northern Territory the best day of all – Picnic Day.

Residents of those states on the majority have no idea what those days are for so it doesn’t really matter what you call it. Maybe Jeff Kennett Day? Named after the ex Lord Emperor of Victoria. Or was it Premier? I can never remember.

So lets give the Queen and her birthday two big thumbs down and give the Melbourne Cup two big thumbs up. Oh and do me a favour and stay out of Coles next public holiday Monday.